"The trick is growing up without growing old."

- Casey Stengel

     

      Well good night to you all, my nutty friends, did you behave properly since our last meeting? I bet you didn't.

      Shakespeare (that madman) once said that the whole world is a stage. But guess what? It’s not honey. The whole world is indeed a show, but a much more exciting, unexpected and freaky one: a circus. And in this life, we are all freak shows whether we like it or not. Good thing I do.

      I’ll begin to explain: our life has six stages. During our childhood, we are animals. It sounds rough to say it but it’s true: we basically eat and sleep. Other than that we just do a few tricks our parents taught us and look cute while people stare at us. Also, everyone likes children/animals on a part-time basis: they are great for 15 minutes but after that people start to lose interest.

      When childhood comes to its end and our parents start to sigh from relief…Hello puberty! It’s every parents’ worst nightmare: a teenager. And what could a teenager be other than a trapeze? We are a bunch of careless idiots who think that can freaking fly.  And we don’t even think we need a safety net, no sir. Good think we have our parents to catch us when we fall. They are essential, yes, but let’s just admit they make a very paranoid, controlling, crazy net sometimes.

      As we say goodbye to our permanently euphoric hormones, we should expect to say hello to a more mature stage of our life. We wish! Don’t forget those years fresh out of college, when you get your first job, earning the minimum wage, ahhh… that’s the life. Do you know what we are then? The clowns, my friend. The base of the food chain, whether you have to get coffee or make balloon animals, you’re always bossed around like crazy and make a fool out of yourself.

      But then…ah, adulthood at last! And if children are animals, adults have to be the trainers, always apparently in control. This is the first time in your life that you’re in charge. Sounds great doesn’t it? Well, it might not be so great when the lion aims for your throat or you realize you didn’t pay the water bill in the middle of your morning shower and there’s no one to rescue you.

      And next, boy and girls, please welcome the mid life and its consequent crisis. These loonies are equilibrists: struggling to find balance between youth and old age. Those who buy a sports car are trying to get back to their youth and those who crumble under fatalities such as dining at 7pm are clearly pending towards old age. And I know that these are clichés, but remember that clichés became clichés for a reason.

       Here we come to an end: old age. They are the circus audience; they just sit there and watch. If you think this is boring you’re right wrong. Because they may just watch, but remember that at least they have popcorn, glow sticks and candy. Yes, the candy of life, which is retirement: waking up whenever you please and doing whatever you please. What a shame that none of us will actually have one right? Lucky us!

      However, remember that a  Joker is not a clown, never. A clown is a fool, the Joker is the master of the show. I do what I want, when I want and with whom I want as long as my mom allows me to. 

      And before I say goodbye, I must thank a very special friend, her name is Poison Ivy and she has the privilege to read my non sense before anyone else, she helps me out when inspiration gets mad at me and  when I need to find pictures of bears riding bicycles. This blog would certainly be possible without you, but it would most likely suck as well. 

      See you next week fellows.

The Joker, 

Sophie Grey

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures"

- Oscar Wilde

Just so we’re clear, this is not the movie of my life. This is just a pretty cool movie that got me thinking. So, without further waiting, this week, at Sophie’s show, I introduce you to – give me a drum roll please – Truman’s Show! Starring Hollywood’s clown, Jim Carrey (sorry Jack Black, but there’s no shame in being number 2), this is a hilarious although conscious movie. And with this I mean that this is the kind of movie you’ll think about in the shower, when you’re trying to fall asleep and, of course, during those classes (let’s face it, you can try to look focused all you want, but there’s no way I’ll believe that you’re listening to a word of what’s being said).

            Truman’s Show was made to mess with your mind. This is a movie about illusion and ignorance. If you’re a paranoid fellow who believes that they are out to get you (YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE), perhaps you should watch something lighter, maybe a musical like Mamma Mia! or a predictable romantic comedy with a worn out plot and Jennifer Aniston.

Truman Burbank lives in an island called Seahaven. He’s living the American dream, he has a nice job, a nice house, a nice wife and he lives in a nice town. But as you watch the movie, you realize that it is all too perfect. Yes, we’d all like to live in a perfect world where everybody chews with their mouth closed and you can always find the end of the duck tape. But that does not happen. And as we continue to watch the movie, we realize that Truman is living a lie. Without knowing it, he is the star of the oldest, most popular, most sick show in the world! As a baby, he was adopted by a TV network (for Christ’s sake, is that even legal?) and from then on he lived in a fake world and town, with fake friends and a fake family. If you thought that Pamela Anderson’s breasts were fake just take a look at Truman’s life.

            Eventually he finds out something’s wrong and after going through hell and high water he finally gets a one way ticket out of that freak show. But then again… he spent 30 freaking years not knowing! That kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I must confess that I spent the week after watching the movie completely paranoid, looking at people as if they were all actors and I was the only one that didn’t know the truth about the world. I probably made a fool out of myself the whole week a couple times, but oh well, that wouldn’t be a first.

            Aside the fact that this movie is sort of mind shattering, it also is a social critique. Throughout the movie we can see Truman’s audience all around the world, and – damn! – they look like idiots. I confess that I am kind of an outcast when it comes to most reality shows, I don’t watch them and I have a very legitimate theory about them: They make you stupid (Did you hear that, Secret Story? Yes, I’m talking about you). I believe that as you watch these shows, you start to create new brain cells that feed of intelligent thoughts and ideas. The more of these cells you have, the more stupid you get. This is a valid theory. Trust me, I have a blog.

            So, just to conclude this week’s assignment, I have to tell you: WATCH Truman’s Show. Just do it. Make a good use of your mad piracy skills and download it of the internet, since I know for a fact you won’t rent it, you smooth criminals. And maybe when you are done watching it you can let go of some of your illusions as well, like thinking you can cook or believing that “one more drink won’t hurt” when you already threw up in your friend’s shoes. For next week, using my extremely sharp, genius and humble mind, I’ll redefine the world as we know it, so stay in touch.

The Joker,

Sophie Grey

     Eloquence is logic on fire

- Lyman Beecher

Today I’d like to discuss a certain kind of man. There are many kinds of men: the womanizer; the nerdy one, the guy that’s always in the friendzone (let’s have a moment of silence for these ones) and many others. But the kind of man I’m referring to is the one that knows his way around words and can basically talk his way out of any situation. He’s the kind of man your mom warned you about.

      The movie Elizabeth, the Golden Age has a man like this. Ladies and gentleman, lets give it up for Sir Walter Raleigh. This guy is charming and he knows it! And yes, the fact that he isn’t at all bad looking also acts in his favour. He works with mommy and daddy gave him and he does it well! How many men could be welcomed in the Queen’s court as a pirate? How many men could make that Queen fall in love with them? How many men could turn the Queen down and then impregnate and marry her maid (yes, in that order, they didn’t fool me)? And even after all that crap he pulled, his kid still got Elizabeth’s blessing. That eloquent bastard! He’s the man we love to hate.

      Walter Raleigh offered Elizabeth potatoes (POTATOES for crying out loud!), and made it sound like an exquisite offer! He enchanted women (and some men too, I bet) with his description of the New World. That was a mind blowing, earth shaking, heart breaking speech. To me, this was a turning point in the movie. Raleigh is no longer a pirate with a smart mouth and a potato fetish. He went through an upgrade. With that speech, he became a sexy mysterious, adventurous explorer. He gained credibility. Have you noticed the way Raleigh speaks? The way he whispers and pauses in all the right moments? There’s a certain kind of magic (not entirely sure if caused by alcohol or not) in the way he sees the New World. “Can you imagine what it is to cross an ocean? For days you see nothing but the horizon, perfect and empty”. And the way he slipped nudity into the speech? “Pray for a fair wind and hope. Pure, naked, fragile, hope...” The movie enthusiasts may go on and on about how the adjective naked symbolizes the wholesomeness of Raleigh’s hope in the unknown and all that, but I just think he’s very clever. Way to go Walter! (Round of applause) You successfully planted the seed of desire in the Queen’s heart, so now you’re free to have sex with the woman she trusted the most... Seriously, did you really think that was ok? What an idiot...

            Anyway, you can see for yourself how much of a delightful idiot this man is. He’s nice to keep around if you want to have a little fun and make the best of it. Because what can anyone say? Even the Queen of England had needs (I’m not entirely sure I can mention this kind of thing in an academic blog, but what the heck). However, be careful not to fall in love with him, since that’s what happened to our poor friend Lizzie, the Queen. Her life was tough, but not as much as they want us to believe. Sorry England, I don’t really think she died as a virgin, because even royalty needs to blow off some steam. And the English royalty is known for doing it like no one else. Isn’t that right prince Harry? How do you like billiards now? I bet grandma is disappointed. In her time, what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas.

            Well, enough trashing on the English royalty; this is it for this week. As a closing, off topic comment, I must say that – SURPRISE, SURPRISE- my teacher is NOT the only one reading my blog! Yes, I was as stunned as you are. But then again, no one would know that people visit this online corner of joy and delight due to the number of comments I have. How many are there really? Oh yes, zero. I have the best readers in the world, don’t I?

           

The Joker,

Sophie Grey