We all have a moment (or moments) in our lives in which we find ourselves asking: Am I normal?

       I’ve answered that question long ago (I’m guessing the answer isn’t much of a secret), and so I began to ask myself… How abnormal are other people? Do they button their shirts from the bottom to the top or from the top to the bottom? How many times do they chew? How do they like their eggs? These questions can tell you a lot about someone. Never trust someone who prefers eggs boiled rather than scrambled (NEVER!).

    Therefore, I took on a very complex and highly structured sociological study (I know this isn’t true, and you know this isn’t true, but it sounds really cool and smart, so just roll with it). I decided to name it “The Weirdo Experiment”, and it regards:

1.     The way people view humanity;

2.   The way people look at their future;

3.   People’s definition of stupid.

     My initial conclusion was: “Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, what kind of people am I dealing with?”

I’ll explain. I approached several people in a very sweet and annoying delightful manner and asked them to answer two questions and to perform a task.

1.  The Human Steak Question

     Imagine you’re halfway through the best steak of your life. It is the Holy Graal of stakes; the best thing you have ever tasted, that steak is Heaven’s gift to you.
Then, someone tells you’re eating HUMAN MEAT. Human meat, yes. But you don’t know whose. Do you keep eating?
*Note that you are NOT eating your mother – this seemed to be some people’s instant concern.

         This has been a motive of discussion between me and my friend Poison Ivy. Since I’m a decent human being, I wouldn’t eat another bite and would probably throw up what I had eaten. Since she’s a terrible meat eater with no conscience, she would continue with her meal of human steak.

Well, 72% WOULD NOT KEEP EATING, which obviously means that 28% would. I know who they are and fully intend to stay away from them, since I have no desire to be marinated, cooked and later on eaten by a fan of Dr. Hannibal-the-Cannibal.

2. The Book of your life Question

Imagine you’re on the street. Then, suddenly, a stranger hands you a book and leaves. As you read it, you understand that it is the history of your whole life: past, present and future; from cradle to grave. Do you read it to the end?

This was a more controversial question. 57% answered yes, and the remaining answered no. I truly believe that those who said they would read it are just courageous fools. I’d rather be in the chicken side and make no apologies for not wanting to find out whether I’ll die run over by a truck or with a fork jammed in my brain as a consequence of a heated struggle (although that would be sort of dramatic and cool).

3. The Dummy Challenge

This is where things get interesting.

I approached people from different ages, social classes, ethnicities and both genders and told them all the following:

“Please close your eyes, count to twenty out loud skipping all even numbers, while clapping your hands alternately – one “normal” clap followed by one clap behind your back and repeat.

I told everyone that I wanted to see if they could perform the task and how easily since during  it there are two areas in the brain that are struggling with one another – the part responsible for motor functions and the part related to math and sequences.

Out of 32 people, not a single one refused.  No one. Zero.

The real experiment wasn’t what I told them. I didn’t care if they could or couldn’t do it. I just wanted to see if they would try.

The dummy challenge consisted on finding out if most people would do something stupid if they were given a good reason to do it. And they did!!

I’d probably do it even if no one tried to sell me the brain parts conflict bogus, but it’s comforting to find out that I’m not the only believer in this world.

Now that people know I’ve deceived them, I’ll probably hide at home from the angry mob with torches and pitchforks.

I’ll see you another day. and by the way, I’m not even remotely sorry for the ridiculously large post.

The Joker,

Sophie Grey